this goes beyond which fork to use
The holidays are here…Fa, la, la, la, la. With all the gatherings that people will be attending it seems like the perfect time to make a list of etiquette tips. However, that sounds quite boring. Instead, I consulted Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior and compiled a list of 12 esoteric etiquette rules that most of us will never encounter but might come in handy if we’re ever on Jeopardy. Of course I couldn’t resist adding my own comments.
1. The only time that the hostess and host may sit together at their own dinner party is to have a horseshoe-shaped table and sit at the outside center of the curve. [Sounds like the person who created the do-not-sit-together-rule didn't like their spouse.]
2. When hosting a ball at home you must provide an awning and a red carpet from the front door to the street. [If you live in an apartment building, you might question whether the carpet should extend up the stairway to the apartment door? I'll get back to you on that one.]
3. Kings and queens frequently end their letters to presidents using “Your good friend”. [What if the president was just elected? How could they be good friends if they've never met?]
4. A wide-tined fork is considered more correct for eating ice cream than a spoon. [You've got to be kidding?]
5. Among your household staff, the cook is responsible for cooking and may be addressed as “Cook”. [This term should never be used when addressing your mother.]
6. It is perfectly acceptable to feed the bodyguard of a dinner guest in the servant’s dinning room. [The guest should instruct the hostess that they are bringing company so they can build a servant's dinning room.]
7. It’s actually considered rude to offer congratulations to the bride. You may say “Congratulations” to the bridegroom while you should address the bride with “Best wishes”. [...hmmm]
8. If your father is a “Jr” and you are a “3rd” then once your grandfather passes away everyone moves up a notch. You would become a Jr. [I think someone in the printing business came up with this one so everyone would have to order new stationery.]
9. After age sixteen it is best to have a token (rather than literal) number of candles on a birthday cake. [It also ensures that people don't start counting the candles.]
10. A gentleman removes his hat when speaking with a lady or sharing an elevator with one. [I definitely think baseball caps fall under the umbrella of hats and should be treated as such.]
11. When a lady leaves the table to powder her nose, the gentlemen stand up when she leaves the table and when she returns. [That's one way of getting some exercise.]
12. Gentlemen should remove their gloves when shaking hands while ladies keep them on. The latter takes off the gloves to eat, drink or smoke. [I guess the rule was written a while ago. Did you also know that 18 button gloves only have 3 buttons?]
Interesting…Perhaps Miss Manners herself states it best when she says: “there is remarkably little logic in social matters.” Feel free to share any other esoteric rules with us.
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I’ll remember No. 2 when hosting my next ball!