from a child's perspective
Someone recently asked at what age children should learn dining etiquette and table manners, which prompted my reply: “as soon as they can sit at the dinning room table.” Even I will concede that placing a lovely linen napkin upon your child’s lap doesn’t cut it when they’re still in a high chair. But as soon as they graduate from the high chair, let the lessons begin. Teaching impeccable manners is not a 1, 2, 3 endeavor. Rather it’s years and years of continuous dining etiquette reinforcement.
One critical factor in teaching children basic table manners is that we need to provide them with the basics. This means that we have to use a full setting at EVERY meal. Fork, knife, spoon, cup and napkin always have to be present. It doesn’t matter that they are only eating soup, the fork and the knife need to be there. How can you learn to use something if it isn’t there? I realize that this can create more dishes to wash but we all know that manners require an effort.
Another element of basic table manners is the table napkin. Children need to lean to put it on their lap. I encourage people to use cloth napkins because they stay on your lap much better than any paper napkin. Your children won’t spend half the meal picking up a napkin that keeps falling off the lap. Years ago, I did away with paper napkins and started using cloth napkins. I could probably spin a story about being environmentally conscious but the hard fact was, I ran out of paper napkins. I asked myself what they did before paper napkins were invented and promptly thought about cloth napkins. Well, I had TONS of those (courtesy of my mother-in-law and Williams Sonoma), so out came the cloth napkins and we never looked back (it’s been 6 years).
At the end of every meal children learn to fold their napkin and place it in their napkin holder. Yes, we understand that napkin holders (read: reusing napkins) is only done at home but there is a limit to how much laundry a person can do in a week.
What do you think? Is there a right age to start teaching children table manners? Share your thoughts…
